How facebook can change your life forever. True story!

You know them, these programs where people reunite after not seen eachother for decades. Brothers and sisters meet for the first time after being seperated from birth and parents and children get to know eachother after adoption. These stories are always touching and rarely without tears. Two weeks ago I got dragged into a story like this, that changed two people’s life completely.

Four years ago I went on a holiday to Ireland. Even though me and my friend were there for only a week, I fell in love with an Irish guy and so I kept returning to Ireland many times over the years. Here I met Tom, one of the closest friends of my boyfriend’s dad. I’ve met Tom a couple of times when visiting him at his house. Tom leads a very solitary life in his tiny cottage without electicity or bathroom. He still lives in the 60s, having the occasional smoke and listening to Bob Dylan records over and over again. He’s an interesting fella, who’s stories are as well interesting and funny as sometimes completely insane. A very kind man who you never get bored of talking to. During one of these nights at Tom’s, he told me about a woman he used to be in a relationship with. She was Dutch, just like me. They were together for two years when she left him, her being six months pregnant. After the birth of their daughter she sent him a card, saying the babygirl is his and a little birthcard with the baby’s name and birthdate on it, as well with an address. Tom wrote to her many times, but never got any reply. After a year he gave up, but still thinking of his daughter every single day. At the time he told me this story, it had been twenty years ago. He asked me if I might be able to find her, since I also live in Holland and she must be around my age. I told him I’d try.

Back in Holland I immediately tried to google her name. No results. Then I tried facebook and to my pleasant suprise five profiles popped up with the right first- and surname. Unfortunately all the profiles were blocked so I couldn’t see if the birthdate would match. Also the pictures were too small to see if she would be around twenty years old. I decided to send four girls as Robin is also a guy’s name and one of the profiles had a picture of a dark-haired guy in front of a ‘snowhite and the seven dwarfs’ wall  a message saying;

Evalina                                                                                                          25 June 2012
I have a bit of a unusual question; I’m urgently looking for a girl with your name: Robin …. , born on 11 January 1991. I can’t find a birthdate on your profile so the question is: are you the one I’m looking for? If you are, would you please contact me? Regards,  Evalina

For weeks I waited for the right Robin to reply to my message, but I never got any replies. Six months later I went to visit Tom again and he asked if I found his daughter. I told him I tried but I couldn’t find her.

A year and a half after I had send the message and had completely forgotten about it I opened my facebook and the red sign told me I had received a message. I opened the inbox and my heart skipped a beat. In my inbox was a message from Robin. A bit shaky I opened the message and it said:

Robin                                                                                                                  25 June 2012
Hey Evalina, I just read your message because it gotten into the wrong inbox. My name is Robin …. What’s up? Regards, Robin

For minutes I’ve been staring at the message. Is it really her? Did I find her? She said it’s her right? Or does she just mean that’s her name? She wasn’t specific about the birthdate though. I kept reading her massage over and over again and decided to call my boyfriend. All hyper I told him that I might have found Robin. Now what’s the next plan? Now that I’d probably found her I all of a sudden realised I had to act on it. But what to do now? How do you tell someone you don’t know that her biological father is looking for her? How would she react? Does she even know about his excistence? What if she doesn’t and she already has a dad who she thinks is her real dad? I decided to e-mail my boyfriend’s dad.

Heya! How’s everything? To my big suprise I received an e-mail today over facebook from.. Robin! I’ve found her! No doubt its her; her name and birthdate match. Ofcourse she asked me whats up. Now I’m in need of your advice on what to tell her, because she might not know about Tom or the fact that maybe her dad is not her biological dad. How to go about it?

Ofcourse he was thrilled with this news and decided to tell Tom about it immediately. A few days later I received a letter from Tom, thanking me so much for finding her and advising me to make sure it’s her first. He gave me her mother’s name and asked me to ask her first if that name would also match. Then, if she’s aware that there’s an Irish connection to her life.

This sounded like a good plan to me, so I send her back the following message:

Evalina                                                                                             25 June 2012
Hey Robin, Wow, I really didn’t expect to ever hear from you and find the right person. Just to make sure: you were born on 11 January 1991? Is your mother’s name Eva? So sorry, it all sounds a bit strange, I’ll tell you what this is all about when I’m absolutely sure I got the right person. Evalina

My reply must’ve creeped her out a little bit because she responded:

Robin                                                                                                     25 June 2012
Hey Evalina, I was indeed born on 11 January 1991 and my mother’s name is Eva.. To be honest I find it rather strange to be approached this way by someone I don’t know but clearly knows a lot about me. So an explanation would be nice.. Robin

At this point me and my mum, who I had told the whole story, were rather nerveous about the whole thing. This was it, there was no way back, it had come to the point where I had to tell her about her dad. What would she say? I took a deep breath and e-mailed her back.

Evalina                                                                                             25 June 2012
He Robin, I can very well understand this is creeping you out, I’m sorry. I would probably feel the same way if I were in your shoes. I’m honestly telling you, I don’t know you either and I’m certainly not a stalker. I’ll tell you what the story is:
My name is Evalina, I’m from Amsterdam and have an Irish boyfriend who lives on the east coast of Ireland. Through him I’ve met someone who’s looking for you. Do you have any idea who this could be?

I thought this would be the best approach. If she knew, she would know who it is. If she didn’t.. I’d tell her to ask her mum. What happened next might be too private, but I’ll broadly tell you what happened.

She knew about it. She immedialy knew who I was talking about. Obviously she was shocked. I can’t blame her. I was bloody nervous and it had nothing to do with me. After her not responding for a while I finally got a message saying she was beyond happy to hear this news, she’d been looking for him a few years ago, but couldn’t find anything on the internet. So she had given up. She had thought she’d never know who her father was. When she was younger she had found a letter between her mother’s old mail. The letter was for her. It had the lyrics of a song, which she’d listened to all her life when she felt bad, knowing somewhere in the world was her dad, caring for her.

Now two months later, they’re sending letters back and forth, and getting to know eachother after 21 years. As far as I know, they’re getting on fantastically, and they might meet in the future. Tom is beyond happy and has a new meaning to his life. He now has a daughter.

As a thank you I received a pile of different kinds of chocolate!

PS All the names, dates and other details are changed in this story to keep the people involved anonymous

Hippie hair wrapping :)

Back when I was just a little girl, hair wrapping was very popular. At the many fleamarkets I went to, there was always a little stand where women were wrapping childrens hair in lovely colors. I’ve had it done many times, usually in bright colors. I forgot about it until it recently popped up in my head. Since I’m a bit of a hippiegirl, I thought it would be nice to do it again, except for more natural colors this time, I mean, I’m a bit childish but I don’t want to exaggerate.. 😉

I used two different colors for this one and added some beads in the end. You could also use for example feathers, to make it even more hippie-ish 🙂

The one on the right I did with woolen string, it’s one string with different colors. When you use wool, be aware its a lot thicker than normal thread/string.

And heres how you do it:

(I have never made a video before so forgive me for the funny faces :P)
You can use multiple colors and put beads in there, love it! Enjoy 🙂

Slide or stairs?

As you might have noticed I love slides. I recently posted a youtube video where they put a slide instead of a stairway at a trainstation, which I thought was a brilliant idea. Now I came across some pictures of a house designed by a Japanese architect; with a slide as well as stairs. This really is a child’s dreamhouse (and mine!). It looks so awesome, I just had to share it!

The house where the magic happens!

The design

Slide or the stairs?

Easy choice.. SLIDE!

How cool is this!?

My big inspiration

With tears rolling down my cheeks I’d like to tell you about someone who was a big inspiration for me, as well as for many others that were lucky enough to meet him.

Today, May 25, we had to say goodbye to my uncle Herman. He fought against leukemia for four years, but unfortunately he couldn’t win this battle. He was just 43 years old.

My uncle once told his sister: ‘You have to play with the cards you’re given’, and that’s how he tried to fight his disease, with the cards he had. But even when you play the game right, when you don’t have the right cards, it’s impossible to win.

My uncle was an inspiration to many, a friend for life and a dad who would give everything for his children. Everyone liked him and enjoyed being in his company. His children were his reason to keep going, to keep fighting where others would’ve given up. He wasn’t ready to let go, it wasn’t right. His children and wife needed him and he needed them. He would’ve given everything to see his little princess and his big boy grow up, get married and have kids of their own. He wanted to grow old together with his wife, who after seventeen years of marriage, he still loved to bits. It breaks my heart thinking about my aunt and those way too little kids in so much pain putting three candles on their dads, her husbands, coffin and really having to let him go.

Life is not fair, loved ones are taken away from us too early, too soon. Every day is a gift, tomorrow is never certain. My uncle lived his life to the fullest, always enthousiastic, positive and full speed. When he wanted something, he would go for it. He wanted to learn, get better, know more and everything with a big dose humor and self-mockery.

When you loose someone close to you, it hurts. But apart from the pain, I’m truely glad I got to know him, no one will take away these memories. Out of sight, never out of my heart.
His death has inspired me even more to make every day count, to be happy with everything I have, the fantastic people around me and the opportunities I got. I want to live my life to the fullest, love, really go for things, learn, surround myself with wonderful people and laugh as much as I can.

Thank you Herman, for being a great uncle, a great inspiration.

See you on the other side. Goodbye favorite uncle!

Always remembered, never forgotten.

1968 – 2012

Mother’s Day gift ideas

Mother’s Day is coming up! Upcoming Sunday May 13 we all going to show our mothers our appreciation. Many people find it difficult thinking of (original) ideas for Mother’s Day. Here’s a few tips:

♫ Cupcakes!
Mums love sweets that look pretty!

♫ Cake with a photo frosting
When you’re like me and aren’t a kitchenprincess/prince, you could always just order a cake. I once got a cake made with a photo of me and my boyfriend on there, for our first anniversary. A great idea for your mum, your childer’s mum or any woman who deserves something special on Mother’s Day.

A present for mummy, and a bit for yourself!

♫ Jewelry
This might sound lame but there’s a reason why people give women jewelry. Because they love it!

♫ Canvas with a nice picture of the family
Mothers love their families, so pictures are always nice. To print them on a canvas makes it extra special. You can even choose to print them in black and white or sephia for a different effect.

♫ Donate money to childrens’ charity
Mothers care for their children and are sensitive when it comes to children in need. To make a donation in her name to charities like Unicef, Orphans in Need, SOS Children or the Red Cross you help many children all over the world, some even without a mother.

♫ Make a special basket
Ofcourse you can buy the shop made baskets with soap and parfume, but making your own little basket makes the gesture even more appreciated and special. You can think of:

– Tea basket: including for example a lovely teapot, big teacup, different (special) teabags, chocolates.

– Relax basket: including for example lavendel soap, potporri, scrubbing glove, face mask, candles, bathsalt, homemade cd with
chill songs, body lotion. If you want to make it more expensive you can add a bathrobe, bathslippers or soft blanket.

– Chocolate basket:Is (your) mum a chocolate fan? Fill a basket with different kinds of chocolate, in different shapes and flavours. Add chocolate milk, chocolate fondue set, strawberries etc.- Perfume basket: including lovely parfum, potporri, nailpolish, mascara or anything to do with

– Cooking basket: including for example a homemade cookbook (by you or the kids), cooking apron, cookingstuff that she needs
(if she wants a applecutter, give her an apple with it). You can make it into a theme as well, like a pasta theme with pasta
recipes, different kinds of pasta, pestos etc.

– Baking basket: For example a cupcake basket with all the ingredients for awesome cupcakes.

– Nailcare basket: If she likes to experiment with her nails, give her different kinds of nailpolish, nailart, manicureset, nail file,
nailpolish remover, fake nails.

– Reading basket: Boy a book that she might like and make a bookmarker (with kids). Add some cookies, chocolatemilk and warm socks
for her time on the couch. (or in the summer spirit: sunglasses, small bottle of wine, bag of nuts). Also doable with a magazine (with a subscription?)!

Don’t forget to add a homemade card with the basket!

♫ Organize a familybrunch / dinner
Mums love to spend time with their families, so it would be appreciated when you get the whole family together for a big brunch!
Set the table nicely, with napkins and fancy glasses. You can make a nice meal that she likes, or have different sandwiches and breads
freshly prepared, orange juice, coffee / tea, eggs, different spreads, pancakes, make fruit ice-cream etc. You could also do something special like cheesefondue or
gourmet.

♫ Make a collage
Make a collage of family pictures. Buy a nice photo frame and have some pictures printed out.  You can put the pictures in the frame like
that, or make a bit of an artwork out of it, with coloured paper, stickers and funny comments. This present always scores because it’s so
thoughtful and personal.

♫ Make Mother’s Day Fortune cookies
Fortune cookies are not too difficult to make. For Mother’s Day you can make them with special notes in them, telling mum why she’s so special
and the best mum in the world. Also really fun to do with children! Here’s how you do it: Click!

♫ Make something with the kids
Kids love art, and mum loves to get her childen’s artwork.
– Let your children paint their hands / feet to put on a big piece of paper. You can put it in a photoframe.
– Let the children pick out some bead in a shop and let them make their own necklace for mum.
– Get a random box and let the children make mum a nicely decorated jewelry box
– The same you can do with boring pots, kids can paint them and you buy a nice plant or flower to go with it.
–  Or.. boy a white photoframe for the kids to decorate and make a new photo of the kids to go in it.
– With some colorful beads they can make keyrings.
– Let the kids make a drawing and stick it on a winebottle as an original label. (you could have it saying best mum in the world)

What not to give mum for Mother’s Day:
Some men are a bit clueless when it comes to (Mother’s Day) presents. So here a few tips so you definitely won’t be going wrong again.
– Don’t give her things for the house, like a hoover or cleaningstuff unless she specifically asked for this! It would just remind her that she’s only good for
cleaning and you don’t want to make her feel bad on her special day. So unless you give her a ‘luxurious’ product to make everything easier (like a dishwasher, dryer of a luxurious cappucino maker and you’re not the only one drinking cappucino yourself!) it’s definitely a no-go.
– Don’t give her something that needed to be replaced anyway.
– Planning a family outing when mum is already very stressed. Let her decide this, and give her also the option to take the kids somewhere yourself and let her relax for the day.
– Money. Money is not a present. Very unthoughtful to give the woman that carried your children money because you’re too lazy to go and buy her something nice.

What are you giving your mum for Mother’s Day? 

Lots of love,smiles and happiness,

Evalina